Wayne McGregor has been nominated for roughly 345,673 awards in the slew of prize giving ceremonies that are slated to be announced in the coming weeks, months and years.
Among the nominations are:
Acme™ GrowHairFast™ ‘Most Gullible Customer’ Award
Time Magazine ‘Man of the Year’ Award
Horticulture Society Best ‘bastard toadflax’ Award
Time Magazine ‘Woman of the Year’ Award
Brixton County Council ‘Nicest Bloke Walking Down The High Street’ Award
Time Magazine ‘Person of the Year Award’
Wayne McGregor ‘Being Wayne McGregor’ Award
The Wayne Society ‘Best Person in the World Called Wayne’ Award
The McGregor Society ‘Best Person in the World Called McGregor’ Award
Time Magazine ‘All Round Good Egg’ Award
Olivier Award for Outstanding Achievement in Dance (Choreography)
Ian Flemming ‘James Bond Bad Guy Look-alike’ Award
Olivier Award for Best New Dance Production
Neil Tennant ‘Honary Look-Alike’ Award
London Cabbie Society ‘Nicest Bloke Called Wayne McGregor to get in my cab on a Tuesday Award’
Critics Circle Award – Outstanding Achievement in Dance
Jacobs Cream Cracker ‘Completely Crackers’ Award
Acme™ Noggin Polisher™ ‘Noggin Polisher of the Year’ Award
The Awards Society ‘Nominated for the most stupid bloody awards’ Award
Olivier Award for Outstanding Achievement in Dance (Steven McCrae performance in Chroma)
I could go on but I won’t. I have a sneaking suspicion that someone messed with that press release before they sent it to us. Either that or there is nobody else on this earth who deserves to win an award that doesn’t shill for the Royal Ballet!
Commentators are suggesting that all other dance makers might as well go home and take their toys with them because Mr McGregor is the bestest dance maker there ever was or will be, apart from some bloke called Wheeldon!