ACE Loses £4 Million

panta rei dans lullaby

Video - Panta Rei Danseteater 'Lullaby'

Norwegian dance company Panta Rei Danseteater, late last year, conducted a little experiment whereby three dance makers created two pieces with the same name based on the same idea, featuring three male dancers and two musicians, to see what the outcome was.

June 2nd, 2016

watch now

If they had lost it down the back of the sofa then that might have been funny but no. ACE lost £4 Million (GBP) following the release of the Government's annual budget yesterday in the House of Commons.

The funding monolith had feared that they would lose £14 Million because of the general global financial malaise, rank and file incompetence of men in suits and, probably, the Olympics.

In a response ACE, via a press release, said, and we're not kidding;

"It is a shame that the government has found it necessary to cut funding to culture but we will do our best to protect the interests of audiences who deserve the best art there is."

"It's a shame", really? What they should have said, probably, is this;

"Hey, Darling! (Alistair Darling the Chancellor of the Exchequer) you're cutting four million from our budget are you f****** kidding me? You motherf****** are spending nine f****** billion, that's right, f****** BILLIONS, on the f****** Olympics so a bunch of drug addled **** ******* motherf******* can run around a track high as kite under the watchful eye of that dozy motherf******* buffoon Boris "i'm a f****** ******* **** ******* idiot Johnson.

Yet you can't afford a measly four million for stuff that's actually f******** good, that's actually f******* worthwhile? With all the s*** that's goin' on in the world you choose to screw the one and only f******* thing in this useless f******* country that's actually any f******* good. Why don't you go sit on a f******* train if you can find one that's not late or try and get through f******* airport security without getting strip searched or maybe you can get a policeman from the Met to slap you on the f****** head with a stick because they're getting pretty good at that to protect out freedoms you f****** *******!"

Seriously, we, here in TheLab™, would pay money to see someone from ACE do that!

No word yet if ACE will be sacking all of their CEO's to cover the costs of the cutbacks. We'll bet good money that they're not!

In a statement to Article19 ACE denied being completely useless, or at least they would have done if we had asked them because who would admit such a thing?

The DCMS and the Treasury told Article19 that they do not respond to profanity laden tirades written by people working in a Lab™ of any kind!

[ ACE responds ]

  • Jordi calpe serrats

    Brilliant!!!

    I would also pay up someone at ACE to see that statement sent to the House of Commons!!!

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