File this one under "don't we make fun of you enough already?" because Wayne McGregor has become the all new, the one and only, wait for it....... "Youth Dance Champion" (seriously, stop giggling at the back!)
That's right boys and girls; Just like Hercules, Perseus and Doogal from the Magic Roundabout the young folks of this fair land now have a champion to look upon with awe. A towering edifice, a colossus, a stout warrior with the heart of a lion, the fortitude of a thousand men and the intellect of a slightly confused physics professor.
It would appear that somebody, somewhere, in a fit of pique has determined that what we really need to save the youth of today is a "Youth Dance Champion". Admit it! You thought we were making this up?
Of course, the only organisation or individual stupid enough to come up with an idea like this has to be connected to the government and in this case it was the Culture Minister; Margaret Hodge. Exactly what Mr McGregor will be required to do as the YDC is not at all clear but if it involves putting on a any type of costume that includes a cape then we'll be in the front row to watch that!
Let's get one thing clear. Wayne McGregor is a nice guy, he's a smart guy and if you tell us you like his choreography then we'll believe you. However, if you're going to get somebody to be a champion of anything shouldn't you pick someone that wouldn't get flattened by a low speed collision with a feather duster?
There are lot of great dance makers out there doing a lot of great things with "young people" and they are every bit the inspiring creative types that the government is trying to prove it cares about. Exactly what impact having an "inspirer in chief" will have can probably be measured in millimetres, if it could be measured at all.
It's also slightly galling that every time the suits in London announce something like this they pretend they just invented dance education work.
Just in case you care; The whole point of this exercise was to put a well known name, relatively speaking, to the government's plan to spend £5.5Million on "dance opportunities" for embattled youngsters in the UK.
You can't help but wonder if Mr McGregor is sitting somewhere, sipping a glass of sparkling water, polishing his head and laughing his arse off! Youth Dance Champion! Stop giving people stupid titles and get on with doing something real, would you please!