64 people have been taken to hospital this past Monday suffering from a variety of maladies ranging from catatonia to severe stroke following a mass reading of the latest press release from The Place concerning The Place Prize®™.
Those in attendance who escaped uninjured told disturbing tales of self harm, wailing, gnashing of teeth and general malaise upon the press release reading being completed. There are reports of effigy burning and one high profile dance maker telling Eddie Nixon to "go play in traffic" or words to that effect.
The press release concerned the latest information about the appointment of "judges", "semi-finals" and money off coupons from Tescos*.
At the time of writing The Place declined to comment on whether or not Mr Nixon, the Director of Theatre and Artist Development at The Place, had indeed gone to play Connect 4 on the M25.
The current competition, which has been running since the birth of Jesus Christ, is set to end sometime next year but only if we're very very lucky.
In an effort to protect our dear readers from succumbing to any medical catastrophe we have been trawling the internets looking for stories that are, on the face of it, a lot more interesting than this.
5. Sky is blue!
The Place Prize®™ ends when the last person standing has killed the scary Emperor in the white armour, or is that a scene from 'Gladiator'? We forget.
In a statement The Place denied being completely useless, or at least they would if we asked them because who would admit to such a thing?
More info on The Place's website, if you dare.
*we might be making that up!