The Awards 2010

panta rei dans lullaby

Video - Panta Rei Danseteater 'Lullaby'

Norwegian dance company Panta Rei Danseteater, late last year, conducted a little experiment whereby three dance makers created two pieces with the same name based on the same idea, featuring three male dancers and two musicians, to see what the outcome was.

June 2nd, 2016

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A little bit later than usual we present to you, our dear readers, the annual Article19 awards for 2010. Yes, we know it's 2011 now but roll with the punches here.

This years affair was held at the prestigious branch of Burger King, somewhere near the M4, or M5, we forget which one. All we know is the folks working there were a little surprised when we set up the lectern and the PA.

We have only one winning category this year, er, last year......... so buckle up and bring on the sarcasm!

Outstanding Achievement in Dance

This year the award goes to all professional dancers. If their job wasn't hard before it might be getting a lot harder before this year is out. If they can even find a job to begin with.

For certain it's a cliche to highlight that professional dancers are the beating heart of the profession but it's only a cliche because it's true.

No professional dancers means not much of anything in this art form but time and time again they are the overlooked part of the equation. ACE invests in buildings, not job creation, and there is precious little advocacy being done on their behalf.

So, good look for 2011.

The George Osborne "we're all in this together but not really" award

This award goes to the one and only Alistair Spalding, AD, CEO, CBW of Sadler's Wells Theatre.

Mr Spalding took disingenuous behaviour to a whole new level when he appeared on Newsnight on BBC2 and whined like a little kid about the "pittance" that professional dancers are paid when all the while he was picking up a £125,000 pay cheque and a £15,000 annual bonus.

He forgot to mention that small nugget of information during the interview.

Nice work if you can get it, if you can call what he does work.

The Tiger Woods "handicaps are for golf you jackass" award

Presented to Bruce Marriot founder and editor of the website.

In a review of Candoco Dance Company's 'Renditions' tour Mr Marriot uses the word "handicapped" to refer to the dancers not once but twice.

Let's be clear, that word belongs in the game of golf and nowhere else and should be nowhere near a description of skilled professional dancers.

Such witless, ignorant writing is proof positive that most arts journalism stopped developing during the Crimean War along with Mr Marriot's intellect.

Perhaps it's time for him and his ilk to take gardening leave on a permanent basis.

The 'we couldn't think of a funny pun so we'll just call you a slimy ****" award

Only one possible winner and that's Jeremy Hunt the current incumbent minister at the DCMS.

If he's not prattling on about establishing local tv networks that nobody cares about and nobody wants to run he's holding non-minuted meetings with those slippery sharks from Newscorp.

Of course he, and his buddies in the ConLib coalition of destruction, are trying their very hardest to turn this country into a smouldering pile or worthless crap.

Don't even get us started on what he's doing to the arts.

The 'we f****** it up so I'm running for it and thanks for all the fish" award

Given with great pleasure to Louise de Winter the head of the permanently invisible National Campaign for the Arts.

Having done such a stand up job of not campaigning very well at all for the arts Ms De Winter is bolting for the door to spend more time working in the health sector.

The press release doesn't say private or public but the private health sector is looking promising thanks to the ConLibs dismantling of the NHS.

We bid you a not so fond farewell and do try really hard to let the door hit you on the arse on the way out, it's the least you could do.

Have a great holiday for er............. next year and we'll see you all .............. tomorrow (we'll try and do the awards on time this year, honest! Ed!)

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