So Christmas is over...... and I'm fat! 3lbs ok 4lbs fatter! (please note I only had a 3 day holiday). God dang! Why oh why can't chocolate roses and pavalova be healthy for you?!

This year I am determined to sort out my diet because let's face it - I just can't eat shit!

I don't think in general I eat terribly unhealthy food I just don't think i eat enough amounts of the right stuff or just wrong combinations. Actually I don't know what I do. All i know is that I can't lose weight and I need to. And I am not just saying that for a reaction. It's true I do. To be in this profession you need to look good as well as dance good. In addition if you FEEL you look good, your confidence is better and therefore you dance better! NO? And I just don't feel all that hot at the moment! Tomorrow may be a different story. Though I don't think so as I have seemed to gain over the past few weeks.

All I can say is: Lesson learned. I will next time be more vigilant about what I let pass my lips when i am not able to train properly everyday.

I do know I have a bad relationship with food. In fact I hate food! I really do. it boggles me. So I know I need to fix this first.

Being a dancer I come across so many people who appear to eat so healthy but actually if you look at their mental relationship to food it is so unhealthy. At first, in a way, I idolised these people and asked for tips about how to eat good, but the more in depth we get into our conversation the more I realise this person is a freak!

Or am I the freak? Am i disciplined enough? Discipline- Something I always feel I have an abundance of. Oh humpf!

Well anyway. I am on a mission. I know I will never be a stick and stone ballet dancer body type (nor would I want to be). I am broad and muscular and strong so will never be able to acquire a body like darcey bussell (I was not saying she isn't strong, on the contrary I have her pilates book, she is a living dancing legend). But I want a body like Victoria Fox or Larissa McGowan or Lauren Longlois or Yungkrung Song or Gemma Nixon or Delphine Gaborit...... ok ok ok most of them have a total different body shape to me so would be impossible to get my body into that good nick buuuut they are all such strong dancers and performers (and choreographers). My inspiration to be here doing what I do. In addition I know first hand how hard some of them have worked to get to where they are and keep their bodies at tip top shape. I wonder do they ever have fat days? Or are they super-human? lol!

First step I feel I need to shed a few pounds from the brain. then my body can catch up!

Heres to my brain,

S x