... I have chosen to be in. Really is. So hard sometimes not to take things personally. I know I have talked about rejection and how I take it on the chin (blah bah) but I have just experienced a new form of it (woo!): I am currently involved with a choreographer in a project and I just heard that I am not being used for the next one. OUCH!

How does one deal with this? Fair enough it wont be paid or anything like that but just when I thought I was building a relationship with a 'company' I get told this. By putting in loads of hours and missing work and travelling all over the country losing money you would think that it would mean something, but no! ha. I dont know why but I am actually quite gutted. I dont know if you can tell. yump!

I think I am just a bit sad at the thought that the person may think I am a s**t dancer. Now before I go over board and drown myself in my pool of self pity I should look at it from their point of view. I am probably just not right for the next project. SHIMPLES! I have some friends who have danced for me that I have not chosen for further projects because I didn't feel they would be right. I totally acknowledge that they are great dancers but they simply are just not right for the project. So i am hoping that this is the case. Maybe I should ask? Or is that just being really pathetic as its only a small project for Resolution! ? I just believe in this persons work and thats why I want to stay.

However another stab in the heart comes from the fact that the choreographer has chosen the other two dancers that are involved in this current project to make the duet and I suppose they are both different dancers to me so it makes sense. I am still gutted though. I think its another case of DDDD. hahaha!

See you later, I am away to wallow. Il be fine tomorrow.

S x