Its week three of the holidays and I haven't danced yet. I don't like it. It scares me. Am I going to go back into third year totally behind and unable to do anything?! I had planned to go to classes every week but life got in the way - working, catching up on visiting friends while my sister is back from NYC, the fact that manchester has an appallingly bad dance scene considering its size and lack of money all contributed to the fact I have not been to any classes. I have done 'stuff'..a bit of yoga, couple of runs and my intention is to hire a local church hall for an hour and just dance.
And at the same time it bothers me less than I thought. Maybe I needed the break. And I just have to trust my body is working on stuff internally while I do other things..like I mentioned in a previous blog its amazing what happens when you sleep, in terms of the body digesting information and making connections. So I am hoping this break doing something different with my body (in this case cleaning and sweeping up endless amounts of popcorn, at Cineworld) will actually be good for me.
Some of my NSCD friends have being doing classes here there and everywhere, are going to Impulztanz, etc etc. And I part of me is like oh no! I should be doing things like that! But I did spend my easter holiday in Berlin taking classes and such like, so I am learning to let go and not worry about these things. At this very point in my life I need to be here, working and hanging out with my sister.
In the holidays I always feel there is always the constant dilemma how much is enough and what is too little? But for the first time I don't feel guilt about not dancing as of yet. Perhaps its because by the end of last term I felt pretty much exhausted. And I know that right now circumstance makes it pretty hard to get classes in/dance so I just have to go with it.
I am going to San Francisco for two weeks just before I come back to NSCD so I am planning to get in some classes while I am out there to get me back in to shape in time for my final year (note to self - FINAL YEAR).
So I guess the point of this waffling blog is all the dance students out there if you know you worked hard last year have no guilt about not dancing as much as you'd like and enjoy your holidays!