Well, its ten days since my last blog and I am still pretty much in the same position - jobless and homeless and not dancing. (But by no means as negative as that last line sounds in written form!).

I have applied to the Tate, the Barbican (for two different jobs), Unicorn Children's Theater, Wholefoods (for two different stores), UNIQLO clothes store, MAGMA book store (to two of their shops), Fly shoe store, a little T-shirt boutique near Covent Garden, Ecco shoes, All Saints, GAP, asked in numerous shops that don't have vacancies and applied to temping agencies, and tried to register with a cleaning agency. The only thing I have heard back is that the Barbican had had OVER three hundred applicants for the job of 'Barbican Host' (front of house staff basically) so they were considering applications in waves, and I was in the next batch. And that the cleaning agency require me to do a test (yep thats right, to clean you have to do a test....) so I have to go back to do that.

But actually the point of my blog was not my lack of job, it was this, I recently had a skype chat with my friend Ricardo de Paula, who lives in Berlin. Ricardo was a dancer with Brazilian company Grupo Corpo for ten years and has been living and working in Berlin for the last six or more years. He teaches his 'Get Physical' class, has a company called Grupo Oito and choreographs, performs and curates other projects.

While I lived in Berlin I took Ricardo's class and I have also performed with Gupo Oito on a number of occasions. His classes were a huge learning curve for me, and challenged me physically, as they involve lots of things I hate and find difficult, mainly forward rolls. And Ricardo showed me no mercy. He liked to push me. (He once asked me why I looked at him like I hate him class, I replied 'because at that moment I do'.)

In our skyping Ricardo asked me if I'd been going to class, and I replied that I haven't danced for a while. 'Why? Why?' He demanded 'Because I haven't got the money' I whimpered. He ignored that. 'Why? You need to go to class. Don't get out of the habit and loose what you just spent three years gaining'. Ricardo gave me his no excuses voice.

We talked a little about what I need to do in relation to me as a dancer, and Ricardo said 'I don't know if you have anyone there who will push you like I would". He's right I don't and I need to find them. Now that I have graduated its time to start seeking out the people whose classes I want to do and establish a balance between classes that are 'me' (for enjoyment and confidence) and classes that push my physicality (to get strong/increase my movement range/develop diversity). I hung up after our conversation feeling fortunate to have good friends and mentors in my life, silly for not going to class sooner, and inspired with the thought, he's right I have not done class for too long, I need to get my ass in gear and stop wasting time/making excuses, and with the plan to go to class Monday Tuesday Wednesday, (I would have gone on Thursday and Friday too but I am helping out at HOST Gallery).

On late on Sunday night I realised my sports bra and dancing clothes were half way across London in my main bag that I have left at a friends' house while I took a smaller bag for the nine days I was temporarily homeless and moving around. I couldn't get it in time for Monday and on Tuesday there was a Tube strike. The 'need to get a job/money to pay for class/house' thoughts also came in to my mind. And I thought maybe I should/need to sort these things out first before I go swanning off to class. This is my life at the moment.

So I made this compromise.... on Wednesday I will be moving in to my friend's house, where my main bag is, and will be staying there for three weeks until her lease runs out and we move in to our 'permanent' home (which we have yet to find...) and next week Jeremy Nelson and Hannes Langolf are teaching at the Siobhan Davies Studio and The Place, both classes I would like to take. And the week after Nigel Charnock is teaching at GDA (Greenwich Dance Agency) so thats at least two weeks of classes I want to do enough to make me ignore my financial state and get dancing. I will also go to the job center, hopefully more successfully than my first visit and 1. sign on 2. try and get them to help me get a job.

Another thing Ricardo always tells me is 'have patience Little One'. And patience is very useful in times like these. Despite the seeming uncertainness I do have a plan. And I'll get there in the end.