It seems that most of the school (well, second and third year) have gone to London this weekend. For the Jasmin Vardimon open audition. 'Are you going?' People ask me.

No. I'm not going. I know I should. But I don't think of auditions being relevant to me. They are something that people looking for a job do..something that 'proper' dancers do. Not me, I'm still figuring out how to do some stuff, who would want me? What's the point? I can't take the job anyway...

To be quite honest I have no desire to go to auditions. I am not the auditioning kind. I don't find it fun. It doesn't bring out my fighting side. I don't particularly enjoy the experience. (I did enjoy an audition once. For the University of Art in Berlin. But it was a two day affair with workshops..AND they gave you feedback when you didn't get in).

But you see now thats the point. I don't enjoy these instead of sitting on my laurels I need to be doing them. To get used to that environment, to test my self and push myself. And get my face seen..and to see what the competition is like so I can place myself as a dancer.

I've always felt that I wont get work from auditions. That I will get it through contacts. But seeing as I actually want a job when I finish NSCD then I can't be so complacent.

So if anyone wants to pay for me I'm definitely maybe going to the next audition.