So I am recovering after a serious operation on my stoamach last week. Pfffttt, what a major blow that has been physically and financially.
For three days I had terrible pain in my stomach that got to the point where I just couldn't cope with it anymore and had to go to the hospital. The thought it was my appendix, so I went down to surgery to have those taken out, only for them to get inside and discover it was something else more serious that had to be removed, which now means I have a big scar on my staomch instead of the little one I should have had.
Ah well. That was an experience, I have never felt pain like that in my life, awful, awful, awful, awful, AWFUL! I have never been so ill.
Anyway, moving on, it now means I'm in recovery from that, which means no dancing for over a month. It is also difficult to walk normally and comfortably because I can't engage my abominal muscles, so my back is totally unsupported all the time and my stomach feels like it's about to fall out, so a short trip to Tesco the other day became quite challenge in comparison to usual. It is SO frustrating, I am doing nothing other than sitting at home because that's all I can do really and I HATE that, grrrrrrrrrrrr!
As well as not being able to dance, it also means I'm not able to make money. I was supposed to work on a commission in Aberdeen with Lucy Boyes at CityMoves DanceSpace for 8 days which would have been some good income but now I can't do it obviously, so any money planning I've done has been thrown out the window and I'm left and will be left with £0.00 pretty much. It is deeply depressing and I don't know what I am going to do, it's a huge blow financially.
On a positive note, I begin work on a new piece tomorrow courtesy of Foundations Dance Collective. FDC are a group of young Dancers who created a collective that works to support Artists with the creation on new work and showcasing it. They have a festival for two weeks, this week was the first, and tomorrow and Sunday are the 2 days of research space that they've kindly given to me for free.
'The Bravest Thing You Can Do Is Be Still' is the name for this new piece, perhaps a working title for the moment, it could change.I am working purely with the process that I'm working on and developing which is something I call 'Recycling'. This piece is will be an attempt for me to try to understand the way in which I'm working and want to work, to find out why I'm interested in it and to explore why it's relevant to dance, creation, you and me.
With choreography, I am interested in gathering images as a source of material and then recycling them to create a new image. So in the case of making this piece I am working purely with that. There is no inspiration from a book that I read, a song that I heard, a relationship that I had, something that I experienced or any other external influence. Here's what I wrote for their website:
"With my time I will be looking at a process that I've has been developing since I began making work. Focussing purely on the process as a subject of a new piece, I will ignore external influences and subjects that may normally be used as a subject matter and will focus on the finding of lost objects, sounds, images, words, movements and characters from the world around me in a bid to rediscover things that were once lost".
www.foundationsattheforest.co.uk
So that begins tomorrow. I can't dance obviously, so I'm working with Svenja Hamel.
Having bad experiences in life are all things that are given to challenge us I suppose. I am trying to be positive about this operation and other things that are going on. Time is never on our side, or my side at least. All I know is that Karma or whoever it is who is dealing the cards owes me, big time.
