So here we are....in 2010.
What waits for us in this year? Alot, I hope.
I have some nice things planned but this has to be the most I have stuggled as a Dancer so far, of course we've always known it and I didn't hear anyone say it was going to be easy but damn, it is laborious and hard.
I suppose I am struggling financially more than anything, getting the balance right is difficult. I work in 'real jobs' to make money in order to survive, pay the bills and to enable me to dance, but wait a second, there's no time to dance when you're working or you've no money left to pay for a class, so you're body goes to mush and you're not prepared to audition or anything and oh wait, there are audutions but you can't afford to get there because you have no money..... and so on.
My way of dealing with things in my life that don't work is to break the pattern, if you live somewhere and you don't like it then break the pattern and move, change it and make it better. So I'm left wondering these days how to break the dance pattern. Sometimes I think I'll move to a bigger place with more to do, but is the situation the same? Is there a different pattern? I'm not so sure....
Recently, someone told me that all I need to do is play the game and I'll get more of what I want. First of all I don't play games, I'd rather gain sucess and achievement through what I have to offer and any talent that I may have. I suppose I've always known it but dance is not about dance anymore, it's about hidden politics, game playing and ego.
I have no energy for that, so I'm not doing it. Honesty is the key.
On the brightside, I've some nice things coming.
I was selected as one of 3 choreographers to be mentored by Peter Boneham as part of the New Territories Live Art and Dance Festival in Glasgow so I'll be working with him at Dance Base for a week, developing and experimenting under his guidance.
Following that will be an EXCITING collaboration between myself and Choreographer Ben Wright, strating off with a Creative Lab at Dance House in Glasgow, we'll be working together to create a solo work for me and we'll be teaching a workshop that week too. More info at www.dancehouse.org or have a peek at the Facebook event page
Until next time, I'm going to keep trying to figure out how to break the dance pattern and there will be no game playing involved.
J
