Last night was performance night for myself and Svenja.
How did it go? Very well, I think.
We performed the piece twice because there were so many people and we couldn't fit everyone at once. The first performance was fine, certianly not perfect but it was fine for a first go and it definately prepared us for the second go at it.
We had to rework it a little because the space was much smaller than the usual space in which we've been rehearsing and will be performing in, so things changed and became something else.
I'm very glad we did it, it feels like the work is and is becoming something that is incredibly intense for both the audience to watch and for us to perform.
Both Svenja and I are always questioning what the work is for us and why we're doing it, what it's about, so it's changing and changing but last night whilst performing I had a deeply personal moment where it wasn't about us being Dancers, being in a dance piece performing, acting or trying to express something, but there was a moment when it actually became about me and Svenja and our relationship as friends and in life, it was real.
It was incredible, a really wonderful connection, I felt incredibly close to her. We are already close in our personal life anyway because we're friends, so there is nothing that we are ever afraid of or are afraid to explore. Infact we seem to push each other because we are completely different people and Dancers but it works well in conjunction with each other.
The evening as whole worked well, I think. There were three of us who organised the whole thing so I found it difficult to relax while the other Artists were performing because of course, we had invited them to perform, so we had some responisbility as to how the evening turned out and the quality of the work.
It was one of those situations where there is simply no time or possibility to do the right things. Ideally we would warm up and spend time preparing our body and mind for the performance but last night it was just not possible and so today I am suffering with soreness because of that.
I always wonder what it is about performing that drives us to create opportunities and to put ourselves at risk just for the opportunity to perform. It is someting in my life that is not just a desire or opportunity to show off, but it somehow a need, a need to express something.
Last night I realised that performing seems to be something that is becoming natural to me now, I don't think I'm afraid of it. But at the same time I'm worried of becoming stuck in one way of performing.
I love performing in work that is intense and emotional, everyone does, especially because it's easier to access as a performer, but I don't want to only do this. I said to Svenja yesterday that It is very rare for us to ever dance in something that is, dare I say it, happy. So I would like to explore it, happiness.
I would like to say thank you to everyone who came last night, it was wonderful to see so many people there, although I am a little disappointed in the lack of people from the dance community who were there, which was probably about 3.
We are not making work for only Dancers to go and see, but I still believe it is important for us to support each other, even if it is something as small as going to see a performance.
Until next time.
:)
