Therefore, how do you address a situation in which all expectations are different yet all equally ''correct''?

I have been in situations previously where I know the expectation compromises my professional integrity and as a result have been told by corporations that they no longer require my services.

Apologies if I refuse to perform services that are out with the role of a tutor, are actually extremely serious and more so that I am not trained to do: for example feeding an individual at a high risk of choking or restraining a powerful young man who has extremely challenging behaviour.

Further apologies to the establishments who feel cramming forty under tens in a small carpeted space with only myself and a volunteer from a local dance school is perfectly acceptable. I simply won't do it as it would be no fun for anyone, let alone be productive or creatively stimulating.

These situations are easy to negate as they are arguably wrong on the grounds of (I hate to say it) health and safety which means I don't ever have to venture into the grey area of artistic code or unwritten social expectation to terminate a contract.

However, what happens when something is 'wrong' on the grounds of artistic code and expectation. How far should you be willing to bend or should you bend at all? Is it a case of stating that some elements of practice are more beneficial than others? Or is it a case of letting this be led by the commissioning body?

It is extremely difficult to answer in general terms as each case is so specific.

For example, with new learners in science we lie. Certain physical equations are over simplified to the extent that they don't actually reflect the science of the matter at all BUT if we did not over simplify in this manner it would be impossible to introduce the subject matter to a new learner in the first place.

Therefore, can we over simplify in participatory settings without compromising the art form we deliver?

Personally I feel that yes we can depending on the expectation of the client, however I don't think that other artists agree. In certain situations the client does not agree which makes the matter even more complex.

If working with a group of aspiring professional dancers then yes, I believe a professional company ethos totally mirroring the professional practice of the company should be used. No argument from me, BUT the majority of dance enthusiasts do so at a recreational level.

When dealing with young children I revel in the balance of creative and 'technical' work however many parents and employers criticise this creative play in spite of my thorough explanation and reasoning behind it (which can be backed up by screeds of research FYI!!!!). This brings in to question, who is the client? The parent or the young dancer? In my experience more often than not the parent which is very sad considering that some of the strongest structured improvisations I have ever seen have been performed by five year olds who grasps the concept of an improvisational score as naturally as they play with Lego!

In additional support needs work I have often received feedback from the support workers of non verbal dancers who claim to 'know' the individual they care for but when this support worker changes the feedback changes. GREAT!

Furthermore, in a team teaching environment I have received feedback from peers. This, I feel is extremely vital and a great experience to learn. However, this is not always a bed of roses and can create a platform which questions everybody's expectations (and as ego becomes involved can become an underhand slanging match about artistic integrity) in spite of detailed planning.

Finally, what if the entire group are satisfied with the exception of one individual. How far do you change your approach and faith in your approach to suit that individual? At what point do you simply let the client know that their expectations were wrong and point them in another direction?

In many commercial settings NEVER but surely this is detrimental to the art form as well as the other dancers in the room? Of course contemporary dance can be taught to motown music and if it creates a greater response from the dancers in the space (although in the eyes of some this is horrifying) then fine. But, at what point does the art form become neglected and misunderstood to the point that the expectations built over years of its; evolution become lost?

In my short artistic career I have seen many situations in which arts organisations have been closed or individuals have been removed from key positions in what can only be described as a haphazard manner with potentially devastating effects.

I don't wish to dwell on the politics of any individual circumstance but recent events in Dumfries and Galloway have brought the complete misunderstanding of the management of the arts to light once again.

D&G Arts Association was in many respects the key link in Dumfries and Galloway between artists, the council and funders. I do not wish to comment on their successes or failures at this time because the decision has been made to liquidate the company as stated on their website:

The directors have decided to cease all trading activities of dgArts from 30th September 2011, due to the company's financial position. They are taking advice and are in the process of commencing the procedure to wind up the company.
You will be contacted by the company over the next few weeks with details of a meeting to appoint a liquidator.

Patricia J Smith on behalf of the Directors.

My great concern, having spoken with artists and various representatives in the area is the manner in which an arts association has so quickly been liquidated, in turn not only leaving staff jobless at short notice but leaving all of the projects they had been working on and towards in turmoil. Therefore, directly impacting on the artists in the region and those who would have been visiting the region to support these projects.

Dumfries and Galloway is a creative region, in spite of not truly advertising this at present, it is a cultural hub especially in terms of Visual Art and Craft. DGAA played a fundamental role in building some of the great things that contribute to developing the creativity and creative reputation of the region. As we all know, as artists, it is from prior investments that new projects evolve through weeks - if not months - of painstaking discussions.

We often rely on the promise of our investors until things are tied into a contract, usually not far in advance of the project start date by which point much of the research and development for the project has already taken place. Or, has indeed occupied our minds and usually marked out a chunk of our diary (the money maker) in order to ensure that when funding decisions are made we are available to complete our side of the deal.

Business minds don't get this, or if they do their procedures do not reflect this. When losing an individual or an association such as DGAA you do not only lose the knowledge these associations have built of their sector and region. You vitally lose contact with the artists of the area and more importantly you lose the hooks upon which many of these artists had already hung their future plans.

It takes years to become a recognised and valued competitor in the arts sector. I use the word competitor as sadly we all have to be to earn our crust and, although I do agree that we each as artists are responsible for finding our niche in the commercial sector from where we can support ourselves, we have to compete on a regular basis for limited funding.

However, the years we spend building a reputation are quite blatantly thrown away when liquidators or committees overturn the networks that have taken so long to forge by simply deciding something/ someone is no longer viable in their eyes.

How many people are from an arts background who make these decisions? And by background I mean, who has honestly struggled to achieve what they are intrinsically inspired to create whilst paying the bills? Current systems do not assure me greatly that any of these people are.

What I find more alarming, and what is possibly at the root cause of these atrocities still taking place, is that we as artists are also reflective of 'committee decisions' lacking effect.

Especially in regions such as D&G, but inclusive of even inner city arts, we are so secluded in our work through scheduling, location, inspiration and trying to fit a life in occasionally. This in itself gives the business minded a distinct advantage as by the time we organise ourselves enough to meet to discuss lobbying for what we know is artistically best we have missed the boat.

However, even if we do manage to get together (such as a truly impressive number of artists did in D&G on Monday of this week - sincerely hats off to such a spread out population of artists getting together in one room and more so applause to the individuals who got us all there: you know who you are!) we are not particularly good at getting anything done! Sorry, but it's kind of true.

We talk a good game, we are likeminded in many respects but without the administration to carry our thoughts forward in a succinct manner to our ''superiors'' we may as well not meet at all.

A committee of artists is equally as difficult as any committee, more so in fact because we are all trying so hard to balance our general career that lobbying is just another thing on the to do list.

How do we overcome this?

In an ideal world there would be a dedicated arts enthusiast who would take the administrative strain allowing us all to input our feelings but who would then have the passion, time and business acumen to create strategy and impact. However, if these individuals existed would we not all have voluntary managers who, often as we do, were involved and worked with us without the promise of a pay cheque?

Perhaps a union? A union that understands us BUT as freelance artists would we really strike?

Firstly, as a performer, choreographer or tutor I can list twenty names off the top of my head who would jump right into my shoes leaving me on a picket line skint, soaked (I'm in Scotland) and in doubt of my future.

Secondly, I hate to have to say it but would anyone really care if we all stopped creating? Many of our 'audiences' don't miss our work per se but only notice the obviousness of its distinct effects after the event; in a parallel to the Black Swan Theory (hence, the name of my company, so named BEFORE that bizarre movie).

As per usual I don't have an answer. However, I openly call out to anybody with one because if we don't find one soon this kind of thing is going to continue leaving too many casualties to count including lost projects, lost artists and lost development of our arts sector.

This inadequacy does not come from not having answers; ever since I was a child I've always had an answer! But in terms of the said forms I do not have an answer yet....

Opportunities and artists, from my experience, tend to work in three monthly blocks however the latest application wait is 12 weeks. Therefore I find out on the day I'm supposed to fly if I receive the funding or not. It's an opportunity I cannot turn down but come December I may be getting on a plane (flights will have to be booked now or will cost the entirety of my grant) without a penny to my name. Eeeek!

I know many artists feel the same and although I do not have a definitive answer surely there must be a simpler way of letting us know if we stand a chance.

It takes five minutes to read an application and put it in the 'no-hope', 'maybe' or 'looks like a winner' pile. Could this work systematically? It would make life easier for the artist anyway and surely we are the people being served.

It's either that or I start planning years down the line by which point both passion and capacity to learn become confused by over planning and logisitics.

The other issue comes in that the arts is a gamble and I feel that many of these forms ask you to predict an outcome before the project has started. Research and development is just that, you don't know where you're going until you've been on the journey. i'm not saying you should give out money willy nilly but really, surely funders a scent for a winner!

Maybe we could give presentations and find out on the day.....eeeeek!! Express it through dance, ha! Obviously for large amounts it needs to be more official but for development could someone just turn up with a cheque book???? Imagine!

IMPULSTANZ is a must visit and when in Vienna I had the joy of meeting many people from all over the world who had turned our for the festival. Literally from all over the world (Australia, New Zealand, Uganda, Mexico, Turkey, France, Hungary.... the list goes on). It offers too many opportunities to discuss, please check their website, and last year truly changed my life.

It cost me very little to get there, live there and dance there (considering what I got out of it all) however what is most concerning is that I was the only Scottish bred dancer who is still fully based in Scotland to be there. Aside from the wonderful Norman Douglas and Penny Chivas Scotland was long forgotten and there were few and far between English, Irish or Welsh reps either.

This is very worrying in my mind. I don't believe we should move directly along the same artistic route as Europe or the rest of the world but surely to feed ourselves we must develop on a parallel with them? Why are more artist not leaving there bubble to fuel themselves?

Just a thought.

Speaking of fuel, I will be visiting the cracking Dance City in Newcastle next week to begin work on a new project. I am extremely excited as for once I a wiling to admit this may be a year in the researching and that there is no rush to complete the work, only an urgency to ensure we don't miss anything during the development of the piece.

As such I would like to ask what you see when you dance? Literally, spiritually and in any other form. Answers on a postcard..... or just private message Black Swan Dance Theatre on facebook (under products and services). Many Thanks!

Sadly amongst all the joy there is the terrible reality of realising what dance has become. The enthusiasm of people concerning dance is growing immensely and this is exciting however the lack of knowledge being bred by so called 'dance reality shows' is making my life a misery.

Since when, as a contemporary dancer, is it customary to use pop music and bust out the odd back flip? Whatever happened to R&D and an art? So it is, the definition of my trade lies somewhere between this and my mum telling people I pretend to be a tree. Oh dear!

What is worse is this growing belief that all dancers (who are remarkably similar in slight frame) are represented by a small minority which is strangely 50% male? Last time I checked my personal statistics I spend half my life throwing females around for the lack of men in the trade. Although I do, heaven forbid, lift men in works where the lady plays a greater role than a simple weak woman in a short dress possibly looking for love and being manhandled by a topless, oiled up hunk.

Not to mention the fact they can turn their hand to any dance style...... what do you mean you don't tap Emma? Ehhhh, does a joiner fix cars?

Promotion is great but are audiences coming in to theatres? If they are, are they leaving disappointed because their television coaching leads them to believe three minutes is an ideal length for a work and everything should either be funny or about love whilst playing on traditional gender roles?

There has to be a better way of getting people involved in the nitty gritty of the artform?

Oh and finally, I may as well say what most of us think, since when did having one particularly flexible hip make you a dancer qualified to judge all styles like you know what you're talking about?

Entertainment 1 - 0 Art

My friend was shocked that this was nothing new to dancers.

This in turn shocked me.

To watch each other, discuss with each and to use a million different forms of repetition is the basis of all good dance training. If I was left to read a ballet manual I would in no way ever be a prima!

This led us to discuss the way in which we both learned physics at school. In short, everything you are told you discover is a lie when you reach a more advanced level. For example at Standard Grade Speed equates to Distance divided by Time. In Higher you are told that Speed does not exist as Velocity is a more accurate representation of what we believe to be speed as it takes in to consideration rate and direction of change. It turns out that as you go on to learn even more physics that everything you have ever been taught was a variation of the factual truth.

I suppose this is life all over (and definitely choreographic academia, but that is another discussion). It is only natural that we oversimplify things to ensure novices are not overwhelmed by the knowledge we give them.

Therefore, does it take a very special type of teacher to teach a novice?

I know, as I'm sure we all do, many wonderful dancer who are rubbish teachers for many reasons. I utterly disagree with the phrase 'If you can't, TEACH' and think more 'If you can't teach, don't teach' as for some it is sharing of knowledge that drives them.

The more we discussed the more it appeared to me that the most difficult teaching can be at novice level and not because there is so much to be taught - this widens out the playing field. Hell, everyone can leave learning something new if they knew nothing to begin with! BUT it is more difficult as you have to be selective of your knowledge. You must be so knowledgeable that you know what knowledge is superior to other knowledge, even when all of the knowledge relies upon the other knowledge that you have to miss out. You know?!!

That does not even get in to the fact you must be able to communicate this knowledge well with your students.

So, my question, how do you teach a plie?

It's such a simple yet fundamental move.

Do you being in posture? This is a nightmare to correct once bad practice begins?
Do you bend the knees past demi plie before you discuss weight placement on the feet? This will lead to weak ankles.
Do you use the arms or just forget they're there?
Parallel or turned out? Do you then go into detail about rotation?
I could go on.....

The more we discussed it the more we came to the conclusion that without the ability to simplify things we would never do anything but just discuss doing things and novices would never get to dance! Therefore, as hard as it is, until some students have a grasp of one thing you must relax about other details. It is not turning a blind eye but giving them time to digest before overloading them.

This, I know, seems obvious but for at least three hours last night fascinated us as the more you simplify the world the less there is to worry about.

With that in mind I am off to simplify the new Creative Scotland funding system for myself... wish me luck!

I have spent the past month analysing my methods as a choreographer and creating work, my body was the fittest it had been in a long time. My mind was creatively stimulated and my thoughts were starting to make sense.

This was all until last week when the week off I have been waiting four years for came to fruition. Now instead of feeling inspired and refreshed I just want to sleep and don't really have a great opinion of much.

Currently I am tempted to curl up on the sofa with David Foster Wallace and get even more mentally stressed at his fascinating writing style.

Therefore I apologise for the pointlessness of this blog however I am assured that such droughts are needed....

Hopefully I'll be back next week with something mind blowing to say!

In light of the fact I haven't done my research all I will say is that the average salary (taking into account six positions with a range of £60 000 - £130 000 per annum) is between £74 167 - £78 332 per annum.

I don't want to state the obvious, but I will. This year there were applications totalling £117 365 to the Creative Development fund with an available fund of £31 241. That is a short fall of £86 124. Divide this by six and that would entail each of these directors undertaking a £15 000 pay cut: some people don't even make £15 000 a year to have it cut from their salary!

I am nobody to rate the job that is being done in any of the funding institutions, I don't dedicate enough of my time looking at the systems to offer a true critique of them. I also know it is not as simple as taking from the rich to give to the poor but since when did everyone deserve so much money? When the Prime Minister is taking a salary of £142 000 per year for trying to run the entire country (I make no comment on the way in which he is doing so...) surely running the arts sector isn't quite so stressful or deserving of lump sums?

The general issue I have with our country at the moment is that there are far too many 'fat cats on caviar' everywhere. Why, why, why as there been no salary cap introduced? Why are those at the bottom of the ladder once again getting bumped when directors are making a pretty pocket? Why, why, why does nobody rate job satisfaction over money? Why, why, why are local football academies closing down everywhere when Wayne Rooney makes £160 000 per week? Why are people being made redundant right left and centre yet the boss is still driving a swanky Audi with all the trimmings? I could go on and on as I am sure you all could but seriously WHY?

Eurgh, GREED is horrible.

They were of a variety of ages (23 - 56, although I think the last one is telling porkies as they seem to remember the 40s???), from all manner of backgrounds and all extremely well educated in life. However, they had more about them than the average person. As I watched them they were extremely present in their surroundings. They all noticed people and they all smiled when making eye contact. Most importantly they endeavoured to make eye contact with strangers - Sacrebleu!!

It could just be that I was fortunate to meet some very captivating individuals but I think not. Having spoken about their hobbies and lifestyles I noticed trends also. They all asked how I felt, they checked in to read my body language, they were excited and interested in responses. I must also highlight that some of these people were complete strangers who I know I will never meet again so there was no vested interest in out meeting or in charming me.

These people were people of people! They all had some very close friends and were comfortable in their own skin. Photographs were taken as genuine memories of situations and none of them changed their overall physicality to pose for a perfect shot. They were not distracted in your company other than to occasionally check a watch if they had somewhere else to be shortly.

I then compared this to some other encounters I had: people texting whilst listening to me; conversations about status updates; looking at photos of strangers for no apparent reason. Have we forgone appreciating the people we are with for thinking about other (usually irrelevant at that moment) people.

This then shifted my thoughts to audiences. No wonder they are shifty characters with short attention spans and no wonder they have lost the ability to really read situations as their presence is being torn between where they are and the pull of this virtual world. It would be wonderful if there came a trend of updating your status to 'been at a dance show' and people competed with their virtual peers as audience numbers would boom. However, is there a point in the audience being there if it just to say to a bunch of faceless busy bodies 'I was there'? Financially of course but artistically I think not.

For me, art is about people and purpose but in a world where people are becoming essentially purposeless (or their purpose is to appear to have purpose by looking busy) art is surely a dying form? As such I dare you all to switch off for a month. Could you? And when you do how many people will say 'you haven't been online for a while?' if it is at least three I would being to question why you are online and what the price really is?

As anyone goes through a period of trauma their body speaks back to them: weight is lost, weight is gained, posture changes, movements weaken, muscles tense. I am currently going through a period of what I believe is the most severe mental trauma I have ever endured. My body is responding in a way I have never known and the little glimmer of hope that is getting me through is the ability to read these patterns and to try to learn from them.

People who know me, yet do not yet know my news, have known instantly that something is drastically wrong (all whilst I'm hidden under a scarf, ear muffs and layers of make up). It is not just in my eyes but in my body somehow.

I'm weakened yet my body keeps trying to speak to me and find a way to help me to deal with the emotions I am having to juggle and at times suppress. Emotional urges have to be physically restrained and as a result I at times find myself contorted and my muscles hitting spasm like they never have before.

Eating makes me feel sick and yet I'm hungry?

If I could bottle this and take it into a dance studio it would surely reach the masses?

Sadly, I think not. Something I have came to realise is that we're disgustingly bad at seeing what is in front of us and putting everything into a human perspective.

My strong advice is that if you meet someone who has the ability to see things as a person (they likely will wear their heart on their sleeve), cling to them. They will keep you in touch with what really matters.

This is my new quest and question: What does it really matter? This is not just a question for life but for art. Out with critiques and policy, in with movement. From now if it moves me it is correct and for the first time I mean it when I say sod the responses.

Most policy makers are no doubt a little dead inside otherwise they would never have been able to make such black and white policy in the first place.

This is the attitude I wish I could adopt in my professional life. Even better, in my creative practice. Imagine a life where there was no deadline and you could really push boundaries by only finishing something when it is actually finished.

In theory I have cleaned, chatted with everyone, fed about eight people, cleaned up after feeding, taken phone calls to plan family visits later and so on. I feel stressed that I have not actually done anything but I quickly check myself and enjoy the feeling.

Perhaps this is where I have go it wrong and I am so keen on marking off the to do list I lose the general enjoyment of being present in life and letting life happen. I forget that some people (such as my parents) just live life. Obviously my parents acheive and are driven but it is on a different level.

The priorities are not building a career but building a home, loking after family, visiting people, eatin nice food. When was the last time I planned a meal?

There is a book SLOW by Malcolm Gladwel (I think??) and I think it's about time I read this again. As budgets are being cut and I have been warned by several people that the arts are dead for anyone who needs paid I might try an alternative route to making things happen.

Normally I will work ninety hour weeks, sleep four hours a day and push until my body stops but what if I was to take it slow and just enjoy the smaller things. I could encourage others to do the same. An impromptu informal sharing of new work in a park, a contact jam in an old church hall splitting the cost of the hire between attendees perhaps.

The saddest part is I can't help but push, it's in my nature. I do wish in a way I could have my time again and push less, people would find me easier to be around I'm sure and my blood pressure would perhaps stay at a healthy level.